My Provider went on vacation, without asking me for permission. I was left all alone in my 4.5 room apartment. OK, the neighbors came twice a day to serve me breakfast and dinner and Ruth came to change my cat litter every other day but still…I didn’t receive the attention due to me. Needless to say, once she returned, I made my Provider pay big time during the weekend. After shouting at her for a whole evening (which didn’t seem to bother her too much) I followed her like a shadow. Watching all those suspense thrillers must have given her nerves of steel – she didn’t seem to be too bothered by that either.
So I am plotting a new strategy. I want a Reward for being a good cat and not doing major damage to the apartment. (That would be stupid – I live in it too, but I am not going to point that out to her!) I did some surfing on the Internet again and found the purrfect gift for me. Bling-bling. For those of you who are not familiar with the term (shame on you – it is included in the Oxford Dictionary!), it refers to diamonds. As you might have guessed from my previous blogs, I am a hip-hop fan and like shiny, sparkly thingies to play with, so bling-bling is right up my cat alley.
Some Providers even bestow some serious carats on their offspring (check out the Foxnews feature "Moneyed Mini-Mes are Ice, Ice Babies"), so why not Moi?
I also identified the perfect bauble - a really cool gold pendant (a dogtag, but what's in a name?) with diamonds and a LED display for my name.
So now I just have to find a way to 1) let my Provider order it for me, or 2) get my paws on her credit card and order it online myself.
My chances of getting hold of her credit card are slim – she is too organized and makes sure it’s out of my reach. So she has to order it for me.
Wait, there is a third option – you, dear Reader, can donate some serious money towards my “bling-bling for that Great Furry Thing” campaign. I know it’s tax deductible in most States, so you are doing yourself a favor as well.
You want my bank details? Just react to this blog and I will send them to you. By secure means of communication of course. So how about it?
Samuel the bling-bling king