As we all know, the world is divided in cat lovers and cat haters.
So there are people we cats like and those we stay away from.
We like humans with names like Cat (Stevens) and dislike Snoop Doggy Dog. (Mind you, he mind be a nice guy, but that name! Urgh!).
We like former president Clinton (because of his cat Socks) and dislike the Queen (the Gorky Thing) and Barbara Bush (because of her dog Millie).

Some cats are really loyal to their Providers such as Trixie.
Her Provider, the third Earl of Southampton, was imprisoned for some stupid human business into the Tower of London.
Trixie decided to keep him company for the duration of his imprisonment (1601-1603). He claimed that she (Trixie that is, not the monarch who put him there) descended to his cell via the chimney, which of course, no cat in its right mind would ever do. So we can safely assume that the Earl’s wife smuggled her into the prison cell.
I informed my Provider that she shouldn’t expect anything like this from my side. I also think that a cell cannot really hold me – I am a 20lbs cat you know and I need my Personal Space (got that one from a Wellness Magazine) the size of my ego.

You might have noticed that I am an Intellectual Cat (my Provider’s b-f accused me of executing a Pompous Writing Style – to which I say “affreux, mon cher”) .
I did my research and here is my pick of favorite cat lovers:

Cardinal Richelieu (1585-1642) had dozens of cats and built them a cattery at Versailles. When he died the overseers and cats were provided for. Now that’s what I call a Good Bloke, although he did some weird things (like burning witches – see my pervious blog).
His secret was, that he had the soul of a cat. One of his famous quotes: “I was excellent. Everybody loved me. I love myself, and I like bums.” You see?

Dr. Samuel Johnson, the compiler of the first dictionary, had a pet cat named Hodge whom Johnson fed oysters and other luxurious treats. Now that’s a great Provider for you! I like smoked salmon and my friend Ariel truffles. Our Providers don’t give them to us…. should we write to the UN about that?

Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965) enjoyed eating with his ginger kitten, Jock. Churchill often sent servants to find Jock and refused to start eating until his cat was present at the table. If only I could train my Provider to do the same…

St. Agatha (d. 251) is still known as Santo Gato (Saint Cat) in parts France. She is said to appear in the form of a cat on her day, February 5, to punish women who have angered her.
My Provider wholly approves of this. Whatever.

St. Ives (1035 - 1115) is the patron saint of lawyers and appears in portraits with a cat by his side, and is sometimes depicted as a cat. Since my Provider is also a lawyer, I wonder if she will turn into a cat? I hope not, I need her human thumbs to open cat food boxes and clean my cat litter box. Besides, who needs the competition?

Cat haters are often dictators (Hitler, Saddam Hussein) and Inferior Authors.
Other bad examples:

Johannes Brahms (1833 - 1897) relaxed by sitting at an open window and attempting to kill neighborhood cats with a bow and arrow. That’s the reason why I don’t listen to his music, which is easy since they don’t play it on MTV and VH1 (my favorite music channels).

Napoleon Bonaparte - Napoleon was once found sweating with fear and lunging wildly with his sword at the tapestry-covered walls. The source of his fear was a small kitten.
Well, we all know he was a nutter and perished on a shitty little island, so enough said. By the way, “Bonaparte” is messed up Latin for “good riddance”, heh, heh.

Noah Webster (1758 - 1843) took 27 years to write the American dictionary, which seems a long time to me, considering he could have copied a lot from Dr. Johnson (the cat lover).
He described us cats as: "deceitful animals and when enraged, extremely spiteful.” This, of course, is something that we have in common with the human race. The difference is, we cats don’t organize ourselves in armies and kill each other. That would be stupid. It interferes with our major pursuits in life: eat & sleep.

Henry III (1551 - 1589) was ferocious when it came to persecuting protestants in France, but the presence of a cat turned him into a coward. He would faint if a cat came near him. You see, it just doesn’t pay to be a bully (unless you are a cat, of course).