Let’s talk about food. We cats are picky when it comes to our nosh.
We are not like dogs that love decaying meat of dubious origin.
We like our nibbles and water fresh and pronto. My favorite cat food is the most expensive brand available (heh, heh). In case you wondered, we cats have an instinct to find out how we can break your budget. My Provider has the theory that I can read price tags – I see no reason to inform her otherwise. We also go by the assumption that everything you eat is 1) good for us and 2) should be ours in the first place. So we take you food, play with it and taste it. My Provider likes rabbit food. I try to play with the lettuce leaves, which she keeps preventing. Spoilsport! I am not too crazy about rice and mashed potatoes (boring), cooked vegetables (yawn) or grilled chicken and fish (yuck). I do like her tomato soup, buttermilk and sweet white wine. I don’t understand why she doesn’t allow me to dip my paw in her bowl or glass and lick it off. She eats with metal things, which seems rather clumsy to me. Why not put your mouth close to your food and catch it with your teeth? Or take your paw and scoop it up? I tell you, Providers are weird…. Another weird thing she does is “cooking” – instead of eating the stuff as she buys it, she takes quite some time to work on it. It involves taking it apart (using another metal thing), putting it in a bowl of sorts and placing it in cupboards that she calls “oven” and “microwave”. The stuff only stays there for a limited amount of time, and then she takes it out and eats it. I find this bizarre. You have your prey, right? (At least the stuff she brings in doesn’t move, so it is safe to say it’s dead) So eat it. She also washes her food. She has something with washing – every morning and evening she goes into one of the rooms and stands in the rain. Yes, really, it is this weird room that doesn’t smell nice at all and has a damn uncomfortable floor. She goes in and then it starts to rain. I would run out, but she stays under it and puts stuff on her head fur. She seems to like it. I watch it often – just in case the rain flushes her away. She told me that it is called a “shower” but I watch TV, so I know for a fact that “shower” is “rain”. If you don’t believe me, watch the pretty lady on TV that points at the world map.
My Provider is well organized, so I get my food and fresh water at fixed times. This is a Good Thing because I like to eat; it is a Bad Thing because I have to adjust my schedule to hers, which is too un-cat like to even think about!
Sometimes I am tempted to pinch her credit card and order food online. But I am just too lazy to figure it all out, and I also would have to keep track when it will arrive, which means more infringements on my schedule.
So for now, I leave the status quo as it is…