About Fluffy The Cat

Fluffy is an American cat who lives with his Provider Al Martin next to a golf course.
Golf is a stupid game, where Humans hit a ball and go to retrieve it. Hello, what do you Humans think dogs are for?!
Needless to day, Fluffy also doesn’t understand the fun of this game.
But he likes to prowl around and check if there are any feline activities in the making.
Guess, what? There are!

Those golf players are really old Humans that drive big cars, such as Cadillacs, to the golf course. They decorate their cars with little American flags, which seems to be some kind of Statement.
The little flags flap in the wind, so they are perfect cat toys.
Fluffy likes to jump on the cars and hit the flags with his paw.
Since he doesn’t retract his nails, his poor claw gets stuck in the fabric.
To detangle himself, he has to rip the flag right off the little wooden pole.
This is not a great loss, since those flags cost less than $1 each and are produced in China, which gives heaps of Chinese Providers employment.

The Ancient Human Golfing Brigade bitterly complained to Fluffy’s Provider.
That shows you that they must all be dog lovers.
I bet they have those pesty little barking dogs the size of a teacup, that they feed lots of sweets, so they (the dogs) look like overstuffed sausages.
You have to understand that Fluffy’s Human has a good sense of humor (it happens to all cat owners in the end), so he informed the ex-flag owners that Fluffy is an Enlightened Cat (makes sense, since Fluffy is a fan of the Renaissance epoque) and fights against the spread of “Dangerous Blind Patriotism”.
Being dog owners (like that Bush Person), they believed it.
The fact that Fluffy walks around wearing a little army helmet that says “Big Red One” might have something to do with it.
I like Fluffy, although I wish he would cut down on the catnip.
You see, his Provider started growing and giving him more and more catnip, so now he is stoned out of his cat skull half of the time.
That is a Bad Thing – Providers and cats should stay away from drugs.

I personally had a very traumatic experience with cinnamon.
My Provider used to keep all her herbs and spices on a shelf in the kitchen.
One day, I checked it out and knocked down a bottle of cinnamon that broke.
I was covered in the stuff, so as any good cat would do, I washed myself thoroughly.
How could I have known that the effect on my system is similar to what speed does to Humans?
Did it come with a warning? NO!
So I got all hyped up, and could not stop running up and down.
My vision was not so good either, since my pupils were all dilated.
As a result, I kept bumping into furniture.
When my Provider came home and saw this, she put me in the balcony to calm down.
She also called a friend (an Agricultural Engineer) to ask what the problem was.
He (although a dog lover, he is OK in my book) told her that we cats are highly allergic to cinnamon and if we get it in a concentrated form in our bodies, we die. Yuck!
My Provider immediately moved all the little bottles to a safe place, out of paw reach.

So if you want to remain a healthy feline, remember: catnip and cinnamon is to cats what alcohol and Prozac is to the Bush family…