Bundy And Me

As my friend Bundy pointed out to me, we Cats are not only good at physical exercise, but also at keeping our mental health.
Did you ever see a depressed cat? No, of course not! There are several reasons for this:
1) we never suffer from insomnia, so we are never sleep deprived;
2) when embarrassed, we groom ourselves;
3) when stressed we know how to vent our frustration.

I understand that Humans go to other Humans called “shrinks”.
I wondered what these shrinks are shrinking.
May be their heads, but it seems that all human heads remain quite stable in size (no matter that some of them are filled with hot air, as by bitchy Provider likes to point out).
They are also not shrinking the food supply – lots of Providers remain obese.
According to my Human, they shrink the bank accounts of their victims.
I think she has a point.
Just to be sure that she would not be so stupid as to spend money on anyone else but Moi, I checked her calendar and I am happy to inform you that she never visits a shrink person.

She told her b-f that Us Cats are the best therapists.
Mmmm, I have to see how I can turn that to my advantage.
My Provider has this rather annoying habit of suddenly announcing: “Samuel, I need a hug!” She then grabs me, thus ruthlessly waking me up from my well-deserved nap, and hugs me. Since she is stronger than I am (damn all that fitness!), I developed a nice strategy.
I go limp, purr and look out of the corner of my eye if I can escape.
If not, I repeat the purring several times. Works like a charm.

If our purring is so relaxing, there must be a way to make cat nibbles out of it.
After striving for world domination, and eliminating all canines in the process, I think that we felines should concentrate on this.
I haven’t figured it out yet, but I am pretty sure that my friend Bundy will have some valuable contributions.
And getting our paws on a credit card or two is also kitten’s play.
I can smell Good Stuff a mouse click away! So what do you meow, my Fellow Felines?

Your Samuel C. The Cat
(Ruler of the Universe in the making, that is, once I get enough catnaps and incentives)