My friend Bundy hates dogs. So do I, as clearly stated in several of my blogs. I live in a nice, quiet neighborhood, except for those pesty barking dogs. Why do Providers take in canines and leave them alone the whole day? No wander they start to bark for attention. As we all know, there are far more Internet savvy cats than dogs, so what can they do? They are bored, so they bark at anyone entering the building. One of those canines lives on the ground floor of my building and barks every time my Provider comes home. It takes a lot of effort for me to out-shout him. Needless to say, I always succeed. Gave me quite a reputation in the neighborhood, I can tell you.
My Provider has the good sense to make sure that no dog enters my apartment. I understand from Bundy that he is not that lucky. He wants some pointers on how to survive. Not easy, those critters are normally bigger than we are. We have a few advantages though. First of all, we can jump, they cannot. By jumping on furniture, we can observe them from higher places such as the top of a cupboard. Secondly, we can outsmart them anytime, anywhere. A good trick is to hide under a chair or couch and scratch their paws when they pass us by. A third option is to knock something really heavy from a shelf on their stupid heads. No fear of concussion, they don’t have much brain to start with anyway. My Provider watches a lot of murder mysteries, so I know a thing or two about bumping off an adversary. Unfortunately, it is not easy for us cats to poison dogs. Not having thumbs is a real handicap in situations like this. Although I have my human trained well, she is against killing pets. A pity……
Sometimes a cat is big and smart enough to kill a dog.
The following happened in 2003 in Wales (UK).
Police today issued safety warnings after a puma-like cat was blamed for a fatal attack on a farmer's dog. The dog, which attacked the animal, was killed within sight of the farmer. The cat made no attempt to attack the man, who was on the scene for up to 15 minutes.
So you see, the stupid dog started it all.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want Bundy to take a knife and start stalking the dogs. (Mmm, not such a bad scenario come to think of it).
The best option is to follow the Garfield/Odie strategy: do something that Providers find annoying and blame the dog.
And for the right price, my cousin Loui “The Claw” Cattino will be happy to oblige…..