Coffee, Anyone?

My Provider drinks heaps of hot brown stuff called “coffee”.
I tried it and didn’t like it.
My conclusion was: cats and coffee don’t mix.
But then I read about Kopi Luwak (Civet Coffee).
You see, I want to keep on the good side of my Provider, so I try to find some articles linking her love for coffee to Moi.

For you ignorandi of the human variety - a luwak is a marsupial aka a common palm civet or toddy cat.
These distant cat cousins live in tropical rainforests (from northern India to the Philippines). They like to climbs coffee trees and eat the coffee cherries.
(I prefer Meow Mix, but then, I don’t climb trees – too much of an effort!)

Being cats, luwaks like to eat the ripest and reddest coffee beans, which humans normally use for brewing that coffee stuff.
After eating the outer covering of the beans, they don’t have a use for the rest so the berry thingies pass through their bodies and are deposited off in a proper cat way.
Local humans gather them and sell them to coffee dealers.
The beans are washed, lightly roasted and sold to other humans.

It takes a lot of humans to do this, so the annual production is 500 lbs (227 kg) – which is about what I consume in cat food.
A bloody waste of effort, methinks, but Humans are Weird Animals and pay mucho for their cup of “cat poop coffee”.
I offered my Provider to chew and pass coffee beans for her, but she doesn’t seem to buy into this “rich, strong aroma with a complex and gamey flavor”.

I might be wrong, but I heard her murmuring “marketing crap” when I showed her the article. May be she is not such a dumb human after all….