Cousin Louie To The Rescue

I am still on my diet, so I am one big unhappy cat.
My stupid Provider still doesn’t understand that I am not fat, just well rounded (in more than one way, I might add!)
So what if I am 22lbs/10 kg?
I am a cat of Substance!

I regularly ransack her fridge and cupboards – to no prevail.
Why don’t Humans eat cat nibbles?
They do eat fish, but they should stay away from that pasta and rice stuff – not tasty at all! (Trust me, I tried)

My Provider is quite clever (for a non-feline that is), so she understood that I am cheating on my diet.
She just didn’t figure out how.
Ha! Before those Humans invented Internet, we already had catternet.
It’s the coolest thing – we communicate by sending messages via brainwaves and the occasional sound byte.
It’s secure, efficient and cost effective.
(Yuck, I sound like by Provider – she writes that kind of drivel as part of her job. Yep, it is strange, but it keeps Moi in cat litter and cat snacks, so I don’t complain too much).

Anyway, this diet was really ticking me off, so I sent an urgent cat message to my cousin Louie “The Claw” Cattino.
He is one clever cat (he lives in Manhattan, so he is very sophisticated and streetwise).
He has a huge network of felines that do all kind of things (for some proper compensation), so he arranged a “drop off” for me.

He sent his associate Whiskers (see photo) to my place with some excellent cat pizza.
Now that’s a great cousin for you! And then they say that cats know no loyalty!
I just wonder if my Provider will notice the charges on her credit card….
May be if I jump on her lap and purr really loudly when she opens her statements, she wouldn’t notice…

Let’s face it – cats are not designed by the Great Cat in the Sky to diet and exercise.
It’s against our nature. We are gourmets of course.
One clever Human wrote a rather dumb book that had a great recipe in it:

Take one small mouse from the freezer.
Thaw.
Put in a blender and hit frappé.
Serve at feline body temperature on a clean plate.

I bet my friend Bundy will like this one – he is one hack of a mouser!