I discovered something really interesting. I was playing on the balcony, when I suddenly saw this little lizard thingy. I chased it into my apartment and whacked it on its tail. The tail came off and started twitching like crazy.
The dumb Animal probably thought that I would be distracted and leave it alone.
Ha! Fat chance! I am not that dense! I properly killed it, lost interest, and let my Provider get rid of it remains. Hey, do I look like an undertaker?!

Now I have been thinking: if the lizard thing can divide itself in two, maybe my Provider can do that as well! So one part can go and work, and the other part can stay home and feed me, play with me and hug me.
During the weekend, I decided to test this theory. I tried to dismember my Human, starting with her foot. She got angry and told me to stop gnawing at her ankle and pushed me outside to play.
Once I declared playtime over and had a refreshing catnap, I waited for my Provider to leave for that fitness center of hers, so I could go online and dig up some info.
I found out that this tail thingy that lizards do is called regeneration. It means that once you loose a body part, it grows back. Now I checked my nether regions (if you catch my drift) but didn’t see my cat jewels growing back. May be I washed myself a little bit too often and too thoroughly there…what do you think?
Anyway, I checked my Provider’s claim that her limbs will not grow back once she looses them…. and I found out that she is correct.
There is a really weird human called Heather Mills McCartney, who is one limb short of a full stack. She lost this limb sometime ago, and I thought that it grew back, since she seems to be walking on a full set.
However, during some kind of protest (Providers have so much energy for that kind of activities!), she lost one of her back paws during a scuffle. Seems that it was a fake one (the back paw, not the scuffle). So she had the re-attach her fake leg.
If Providers would walk on all fours, they wouldn’t have this problem in the first place. You see, when we walk, only 3 feet touch the ground, just check it out. It’s really cool, to quote your cubs.
So for now, I will leave my Provider’s limbs alone. I will think of another Clever Plan, but first I need another nap. Yawn.