Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Feline On A Leash! Quel Horreur!

Florida is part of earth where old Providers go to take long naps.
The climate is excellent and they love to warm their old, wrinkled, furless bodies in the sun. They copied that from us, felines, but that’s OK.

What is not OK, is that a political something-or-other human in Martin County wants cats to be leashed.

Yes, you read it correctly!
Due to those pesty dogs (and may be also crocodiles, it being Florida and all), they launched a leash law in Martin County in 2003, requiring all pets to be on leashes when they are outside their owners' property.
This is of course Stupid and Undignified!

Cat lovers are clever humans, so they tried to exempt us felines from this stupid leash law.
The Martin County commissioner, a human that listens to the name Lee Weberman, supported their efforts, until recently.
He suddenly yanked his support for their efforts, claiming that he may have been a little premature. How come premature? He is male, so it’s not like giving prematurely birth to a litter or something like that!
He gave a very political (read: poppycock) reason: “It's not the right time to modify this ordinance.”
I read this as: “I need the votes of dog owners for my reelection.”

The local felines have a champion in Maris Sine, who correctly statesd that cat lovers want to get rid of the leash law so they can promote a practice of spaying and neutering abandoned cats and keeping them in colonies instead of them being killed at shelters.
Requiring all cats to be on leashes and fining pet owners who don't leash their cats would make that practice impossible. Way to go, Maris!

Another human, Kristen Neilander, said the County recently fined her $575 (which is lots of cat food and toys, my lovelies!) after catching five of the cats she managed without a leash in her colony. She is fighting those fines. (Way to go, girl!)
I'm not sure you are aware of how difficult it is to put a cat on a leash and walk it,” Neilander told the W. person.
That stupid Commissioner person reacted by saying that a task force of residents asked for the leash law to be expanded in 2003, so he doesn't want to completely rewrite that law.
He went on by saying that he thought that the cat lovers just wanted some tweaking, so he misunderstood.
Well, my Provider is rather nifty with the written word, so I hereby donate her services (she is something called a “lawyer”) free of charge for the Greater Good of Felineness.
I bet she can do that rewrite within one day – obviously she has more grey brain matter than that Weberman nickenpoop.
And if you don’t believe me, ask my friend Bundy or Morty (see picture)!

1 comment:

Samuel C. The Cat said...

Mon cher Bundy,

As always, you are wise beyond you cat years. I do feel for the lady cats, but there is nothing wrong having some fun with the leash concept! I am sure they understand that....
Yep, Morty is our kind of cool cat. He moved in with his brother and my friend Ariel (a true Alpha Cat), who regularly puts him in place. I am glad my brother lives on the other side on the country and I have my Provider all to myself!
Your friend Samuel