Sometimes I wish my Provider was not Internet-savvy.I don’t mind her surfing for more info on how to pamper and adore Moi, but I do mind when she gets ideas about cat diets!
I am NOT a fat cat, mind you; I just have heavy bones.
Since my Provider works out a lot anyway, I don’t see the issue of me being the size and weight of a 3-year old human cub.
She can still easily lift and hug me!
I know that my Provider is going to change my cat food – that I don’t mind, I tried the sample she brought in and liked it.
It’s tasty and double the price, heh, heh.
We cats get a lot of attention, but American cats are truly pampered.
In the US, there are pet resorts, cat yoga, feng shui pet gardens and Retin-A acne treatments for us cats.
They also do a lot of research on Us Gorgeous Beings.
The National Academy of Sciences produced a hefty 450-page report after reviewing 25 years of scientific papers on cat nutrition.
The report claims that like our Humans, we cats can be obese and run a higher risk of developing diabetes, heart disease or other problems. Ugh!
One in every four cats in the Western world seems to have a weight problem.
(Not me of course - I am just big boned)
The report also sets new dietary guidelines for cats, including specific nutrient requirements for protein, fat, vitamins, minerals, carbohydrates, fiber and additives.
I don’t mind, as long as the food is tasty, expensive and includes seafood.
On TV, there are those weird (and boring) reality shows about Humans loosing weight.
It involves a lot of crying, shouting and suffering.
I don’t get it, and I have to say, neither does my Provider, so I don’t have to watch that drivel.
However, some bewildered soul thought it was a Good Idea to translate this diet thingy concept to Us Cats.
Hence the Hill's 2006 National PetFit Challenge.
It’s more a competition for Humans than for Us Cats, if you ask me.
(Yes, I know I am cynical, but hey, hanging out with my cynical Provider for more than 7 years does that to a feline).
You see, Hill is the producer of cat food, so it’s (to quote my Provider, who works in the field and knows a thing or two about this kind of stuff) a marketing & PR stunt.
She has a point – the winners of the competition (cat + provider) receive money (which goes to the provider; as we all know, real cats don’t shop, unless it's for food online with PayPal or credit card), a year's supply of pricey pet food (OK, but is it to our taste? We are not dogs, you know, we have our own mind!) and free airline tickets to stay at an "upscale pet-friendly hotel".
Pffff, don’t they realize that cats don’t like to fly? Airplanes are smelly, uncomfortable and bounce around a lot. Bloody uncomfortable. If we have to travel, let's do it by train - Orient Express style of course!) or in a Rolls Royce, which is a nice and quiet car.
And another thing - which feline cares about staying in a hotel?
I like my own 4.5 room apartment with 2 terraces very much, so unless it’s a hotel with room service on the level of the Waldorf Astoria or Four Seasons, I don’t see any good reason to stay in another place.
OK, may be at Angelina Jolie’s home - she looks like a great cat person and comes with 3 cute Human cubs to play with - but that’s it!
In the mean time, I keep a watchful eye on my Provider in case she wants to enter me in some kind of competition.
You never know, she has those very human ideas - she still doesn't think like a cat.
I think I better cut down on ordering cat pizzas when she is at work and start doing more cat yoga exercises…..it might fool her!
